funeral etiquette

Many people worry about what to say, what to wear, or whether they'll do the "right thing" when attending a funeral or memorial service.

The truth is, there is no perfect way to support a grieving family.

Showing up, offering kindness, and being present are often the most meaningful things you can do. The following suggestions can help you feel more comfortable and confident when attending a service.

What Should I Wear?

If the family has requested a specific dress code, it's always best to follow their wishes.

Otherwise, choose clothing that is respectful, comfortable, and appropriate for the setting. While dark or conservative clothing is common, many modern celebrations of life may encourage brighter colors, casual attire, sports jerseys, lake attire, or other clothing that reflects the personality of the person being honored.

When in doubt, a neat and respectful appearance is always appreciated.

What Should I Say?

Many people worry about finding the perfect words. Please don't.

A simple and heartfelt expression of sympathy is often the most meaningful.

Consider saying:

• "I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "I'm thinking about you and your family."
• "Your dad always made me smile."
• "I have wonderful memories of her."
• "I wish I had the right words, but I want you to know I care."

Sharing a favorite memory is often one of the greatest gifts you can give a grieving family.

Do I Need to View the Deceased?

No.

If a visitation or viewing is taking place, you may approach the casket if you feel comfortable doing so. Many people find it meaningful, while others prefer not to.

There is no right or wrong choice. You should do what feels most appropriate for you.

Should I Bring Children?

Children are welcome at most funeral and memorial services.

In fact, including children in the grieving process often helps them better understand loss and feel connected to family traditions. Consider your child's age, maturity level, and ability to participate comfortably.

Preparing children beforehand by explaining what they will see and experience can help them feel more at ease.

Signing the Register Book

Please take a moment to sign the register book when attending a visitation or service.

Including your full name and, if appropriate, how you knew the deceased can be very helpful to family members in the weeks and months that follow. In addition - an address, phone number or email allows the family to reach out later if they choose. 

Families often revisit these records and find comfort in seeing who came to support them.

Flowers, Memorials & Gifts

Sending flowers, making a memorial donation, providing a meal, sharing photographs, or offering practical assistance are all meaningful ways to show support.

If the family has requested memorial donations to a specific charity or organization, honoring those wishes is always appreciated.

Phones & Technology

We understand that phones are part of everyday life, but we ask that guests silence their phones and minimize distractions during services.

If photographs or videos are being taken during a service, please respect the family's wishes and any guidance provided by staff.

Religious & Cultural Traditions

Every family is different.

Religious, cultural, military, and family traditions often play an important role in funeral and memorial services. If you're unfamiliar with specific customs, don't hesitate to ask. Most families appreciate your desire to be respectful, and our staff is always happy to answer questions.

Cemetery Etiquette

Cemeteries are places of remembrance, reflection, and healing. A few simple courtesies help preserve their beauty and respect the families who visit them.

Respect the Memorial

Please avoid touching, climbing on, or leaning against monuments and markers. Older memorials can be fragile, and preserving them helps protect a family's lasting tribute.

Likewise, please do not remove flowers, coins, flags, decorations, or other items left by family members.

Be Mindful of Other Services

If a funeral, burial, or graveside service is taking place, please allow space for the family and avoid interrupting processions or ceremonies.

A quiet gesture of respect is always appreciated.

Keep Voices Low

Many people visit cemeteries seeking peace and reflection.

Please be mindful of conversations, music, and phone calls while visiting.

Watch Children Carefully

Children are welcome in cemeteries, but they should remain supervised and respectful of surrounding graves and memorials.

Leave the Cemetery as You Found It

Help preserve the beauty of the grounds by using designated trash receptacles and following cemetery regulations regarding flowers and decorations.

The Most Important Rule

You don't need to know exactly what to say.

You don't need to know every custom.

You don't need to be perfect.

The most important thing is simply showing up with kindness, compassion, and respect. Families rarely remember whether someone said the perfect words—but they always remember who was there for them when they needed support.